lizzidi (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} lizzidi) wrote,@ 2006-03-01 23:22:00 |
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Goodbye, Grandma...
Early this morning, my grandmother died. She had a massive infarct in the bathroom at around 5 am. It was over pretty quickly and she didn't suffer much. She was 94.
My grandmother was not always a good woman. She was an inveterate racist, she was a total narcissist, and she could be more artificial than any person I've ever met. She could be needlessly cruel and profoundly manipulative. She was a master at dangling her affections and she expected people to jump when she demanded it.
Having said that, she was also brilliant, beautiful, powerful and funny. When Grandma was having a good day, she could be the most wonderful person to be around. She had a wonderful sense of humor and despite being blind and hateful, she was always aware of what was going on in the world. She voted religiously and encouraged all her granddaughters to do the same, since her mother was a suffragette and if we didn't vote when our turns came around, we were spitting on her sacrifice and degrading her memory.
She was devilishly clever, and while she often used her intellect to manipulate people and get her way, she also wrote poetry and contributed her time and experience to botanical societies. She was one of the first women in the country accepted into medical school. Obeying her family's' edict and not going was a decision she regretted all her life. She inevitably became the head of the science department and the Dobbs school in upstate New York. She used that as a platform for exploration, eventually becoming in charge of inspecting and charting some of the smaller US Virgin Islands. Through this, she discovered several unique bugs and species of fern that are attributed to her and became one of the few women of her era to gain acceptance to the Explorers Club.
Though my biological grandfather died when my mom was 19, my grandmother re-married several decades later at the age of 82. Even though I was around 12 at the time, I remember the wedding vividly. Though there were far more laughs at her expense (since with grandma, you had to either laugh at her eccentricities or you could be deeply hurt very quickly) everyone noted how she lived her energetic life to the fullest; not letting something like age get in the way of a good wedding.
Even though it was hard to like her, we all did love her, and her loss is a blow to us all. So, Elizabeth Bailey Farnum Guibord Hartzel, may your rest be a peaceful one. Goodbye Grandma Farnie, we'll see you on the other side.
Early this morning, my grandmother died. She had a massive infarct in the bathroom at around 5 am. It was over pretty quickly and she didn't suffer much. She was 94.
My grandmother was not always a good woman. She was an inveterate racist, she was a total narcissist, and she could be more artificial than any person I've ever met. She could be needlessly cruel and profoundly manipulative. She was a master at dangling her affections and she expected people to jump when she demanded it.
Having said that, she was also brilliant, beautiful, powerful and funny. When Grandma was having a good day, she could be the most wonderful person to be around. She had a wonderful sense of humor and despite being blind and hateful, she was always aware of what was going on in the world. She voted religiously and encouraged all her granddaughters to do the same, since her mother was a suffragette and if we didn't vote when our turns came around, we were spitting on her sacrifice and degrading her memory.
She was devilishly clever, and while she often used her intellect to manipulate people and get her way, she also wrote poetry and contributed her time and experience to botanical societies. She was one of the first women in the country accepted into medical school. Obeying her family's' edict and not going was a decision she regretted all her life. She inevitably became the head of the science department and the Dobbs school in upstate New York. She used that as a platform for exploration, eventually becoming in charge of inspecting and charting some of the smaller US Virgin Islands. Through this, she discovered several unique bugs and species of fern that are attributed to her and became one of the few women of her era to gain acceptance to the Explorers Club.
Though my biological grandfather died when my mom was 19, my grandmother re-married several decades later at the age of 82. Even though I was around 12 at the time, I remember the wedding vividly. Though there were far more laughs at her expense (since with grandma, you had to either laugh at her eccentricities or you could be deeply hurt very quickly) everyone noted how she lived her energetic life to the fullest; not letting something like age get in the way of a good wedding.
Even though it was hard to like her, we all did love her, and her loss is a blow to us all. So, Elizabeth Bailey Farnum Guibord Hartzel, may your rest be a peaceful one. Goodbye Grandma Farnie, we'll see you on the other side.
